How long is a lifetime?

Is 29 years enough? I think so, albeit regrettably. My big brother died at the tender age of 29. He leaves behind a cuddly son with satellite ears and curly hair. He leaves behind a loving family. He leaves behind a supporting cast of friends and associates. He leaves behind smiley-faced memories. He leaves behind a legacy. So was his life, as some would say, “cut short” or did he live long enough?

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, the average life expectancy for a male is roughly 75 years. Put in these terms, my brother only lived a fraction of his life. However, because I have never been one to place a lot of stock in chronology when it comes to valuating life’s moments, I will cast that statement aside. Age does not determine much at all—it is merely a metric that helps us communicate meaningfully with one another. In this context, it should become clear why I think that my brother lived “long enough.” He laughed. He cried. He experienced the entire spectrum of the human emotional experience. Sure, he never “got married”, owned a house, or reached similar markers that seem to communicate to others that one is “living life to the fullest.” But who cares. These markers are social constructs, not sure-fire indicators of a life being lived to the fullest.

I never looked at life this way before. Prior to my brother’s death, I viewed the human life span as a marathon—so anything short of that, say a 10k or a half-marathon, was tragic. The funny thing is that 10k and half-marathon runners get the same thrill and enjoyment from running their races as the marathon runners. Moreover, all runners, irrespective of race length, have to cross the finish line.

When we place too much stock in chronology, we panic. We fear that if our life happens to be the 40-yard dash that we may not have achieved all that we should have. Fuck that. What, exactly, do you need to achieve? I think that a life lived to the fullest is a life that makes a lasting impression—even if that impression affects only one person, even if it only takes one day. So how long is a lifetime? As long as it takes…

~ Donny Brook