It sounds all too familiar: A good woman with a good job and a good upbringing dates the “bad boy”. Sure, in the short-term, the idea may seem sexy, dangerous, and exciting but what happens in the long term? Infidelity? Prison? Death? Abuse? Some other undesirable outcome? More often than not, this devilishly tempting relationship ends up in disaster. Yet the same women who date such men are often the most vocal about the dearth of “good men”. This is interesting indeed, but what is more interesting is the effect that women’s demand for bad boys has on men and their self-concept.
Rewind. Go back to elementary school. Try to remember the most popular boys in your class. What type of boys were they? If your grade school experience was anything like mine then they were usually the class clowns, the truants, and the thugs—or, for lack of better words, the bad boys. Comparatively, the honor-roll listed, future physicians that sat in the front of the class were probably the “geeks” that were the minnows for the bad boy sharks (illogically, much to the girls’ glee). What type of impact does this have on the male psyche?
Men, let’s be honest. ALL of our strivings are intended to attract women in some way, shape, or form. If we desire to build muscular bodies, it is because we heard some woman shriek about a hot-bod actor she saw on television (think Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, or Morris Chestnut). If we pursue high-paying jobs, it is because we know that women value men that are “balling”. When (if) we shop for cologne, we purchase whatever the heavily powdered saleswoman behind the counter recommends. My point is that no matter what we do, we seek to maximize our desirability among women at all times. This point holds important implications for women—especially those in pursuit of good men.
Fast forward. What happens to the aspirations of those physician-bound boys that attract little, if any, female attention throughout elementary school and even throughout middle and high school? Might they be tempted to “repackage” themselves to be more desirable to women? Of course! They will not be officially “balling” until they are done with medical school—which will take YEARS. Fortunately (and unfortunately) for them, there is a way they can boost their status among women before they finish medical school! How so? Become thugs! This way, they can earn quick cash and street credentials thereby appealing to the instant gratification appetites of the women they seek to attract. Few men can deny trying to “be tough” or “look cool” to boost their status among women. Unfortunately, for some promising boys this comes at a cost. Some of these newly “thugged-out” boys are beyond repair. They get involved with the wrong people and the wrong things. They effectively become the bad boys that they originally saw the hottest girls pursue. As a result, the “thug population” increases and the pool of “good guys” that most “good girls” eventually decide to pursue shrinks. Allow me to put this in its proper context. It is common knowledge that there are more women than there are men in the U.S. It is also common knowledge that women are increasingly achieving higher educational levels than their male counterparts are. Therefore, in Macroeconomic terms, women find that the demand for “good men” greatly exceeds its supply. They had better chances of nabbing a “good guy” in elementary school before the harmful effects of peer influence set in.
Fast forward. What happens to the aspirations of those physician-bound boys that attract little, if any, female attention throughout elementary school and even throughout middle and high school? Might they be tempted to “repackage” themselves to be more desirable to women? Of course! They will not be officially “balling” until they are done with medical school—which will take YEARS. Fortunately (and unfortunately) for them, there is a way they can boost their status among women before they finish medical school! How so? Become thugs! This way, they can earn quick cash and street credentials thereby appealing to the instant gratification appetites of the women they seek to attract. Few men can deny trying to “be tough” or “look cool” to boost their status among women. Unfortunately, for some promising boys this comes at a cost. Some of these newly “thugged-out” boys are beyond repair. They get involved with the wrong people and the wrong things. They effectively become the bad boys that they originally saw the hottest girls pursue. As a result, the “thug population” increases and the pool of “good guys” that most “good girls” eventually decide to pursue shrinks. Allow me to put this in its proper context. It is common knowledge that there are more women than there are men in the U.S. It is also common knowledge that women are increasingly achieving higher educational levels than their male counterparts are. Therefore, in Macroeconomic terms, women find that the demand for “good men” greatly exceeds its supply. They had better chances of nabbing a “good guy” in elementary school before the harmful effects of peer influence set in.
What am I getting at? Ladies, if you want good men, endorse good men. Teach your nieces, little sisters, and daughters to desire “high potential geeks" over “thugs”. Place value on men who demonstrate academic achievement and/or who display other abilities that translate into income generation and fatherhood prowess. This way, through your magical feminine powers over the male psyche, you increase your chances of mating with the “good guy” that you need and deserve. Leave the thugs alone! You are only exposing yourself to heartache while also shrinking the pool of quality men who would love to date you!
~Donny Brook
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